The girl who lost her words were trying, trying not to get angry, but if she wasn't sad she was angry, and she tried to spill the anger to have room for more happiness.
Heartrush, irritation pouring out of my ears.
Why the hell are you writing in the snow with it?
Why are you writing my name at all, and wait what...
And why are you pouring the coffee, you don't want your heart to rush anymore?
I mean seriously, It doesn't make any sense, why pouring coffee into the snow just to make your point? Why not drink it and piss your message for a more effectful gesture? Then you would get energized and at the same time make it very clear that you do not want to talk to me again.
Pouring the coffee with a sad smile would only keep my hope alive.
I think I need you to kill it instead.
So come on, drink the fucking coffee.

To start all over

When I express myself in english it feels like I am talking about someone else, like the words are not mine, I cannot see the variations, but I need to learn. So lets say it is, about someone else that is. Let this blog come back to life (arise blog!), and this time the stories wont be about myself, it will be about that girl. That girl you will never get to know, because she wont exist, and she will never. It's a story about a girl...
She read the words with a feeling of horror and happiness, what was going on in that 20 year old head? Where and when did she loose the perspective, and how was it even possible to go through these changes in 4 years? She didn't know, but she wanted to reclaim her language. Once she was good with it, playing with words like they were razors, but more logically thinking and a dream of a career came between and made her words less razorsharp, less than pebbles spread in the wind like dust. Yep, that is where we start: dust. She's dust and she needs to repair. Simple as that.
A wise man once said; " to be alone in boredom is the key to creativeness". And since the girl never ever had felt as alone as she did at this point she decided to take her words back. To sharpen the pebbles to razors again, that is what we will follow in this blog.

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